Balance

Some people are called to voluntary poverty, no doubt about it.  And they live it beautifully, and they are confident of their calling, and they might want nice things, but they follow God's leading and live on less than most of us.


I live in poverty.  Just barely, and only according to a number set by the US government.  Really, I have plenty of money for all I need and some left over.  So my issue lately hasn't been "Am I called to voluntary poverty (not really a relevant question)?" but "What do I do with the "wiggle room" in my budget?"  


Nice things are nice.  Soooo nice.  Like cognac-colored boots.  Want them!  And a nice new bicycle to ride around the metro area.  Would be so nice!  And I want to backpack Europe.  So that would mean a nice framepack as well.  And a good-quality new sleeping bag.  So the list goes on.


But there are so many ways that I can use my money.  A missionary living in a tiny village in Bolivia has to raise money in case she needs to airlift one of the townspeople out.  A family is moving and needs some extra cash.  Close friends have birthdays.  A friend goes on a short-term trip.  Kids in my neighborhood need clothes for school.


My tendency is to swing from one extreme to the other. One month of big spending, feel guilt, one month of more giving, ignore things that I need, repeat cycle.  I think what I need at this point in my life is some balance.  I need to follow God's leading when He is telling me to be generous, but I also have to be able to look professional at work, which might mean new shoes or a cardigan.


This is something I've been thinking about for several years, and I've even blogged about it before:
- Simplicity vs Christmas Spirit
-The Weak and Fatherless
- Urbana Thoughts: Working in Poverty


I don't claim to have the answers, but I'll keep writing about this as I live in Phillips and make ends meet.

Exposure, Part 2

The transition from my rural Wisconsin upbringing to life in the big city has been incredibly eye opening for me, and in part one of this post I described what I've been learning.   At the end of my last post I left with questions that I vowed to think about in writing here.


What do I do with this new knowledge?  How do I fit in this life?  Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job?  Where does the gospel come in?


I've been thinking about these questions since way before I ever moved into the Phillips neighborhood, and I've been learning all I can from the wise people around me at school and in my house.  However, at this point in the game, I feel about as qualified to answer questions about ending poverty as a snail trying to win the 100 meter dash.  So, instead I will recommend to you the books I am reading or that are on my list.

Cultural Anthropology by Paul Hiebert

This book was what first opened my eyes to my desire to understand where people were coming from and address social issues in light of culture and background.  I read it for a class in college, but it was interesting enough that I would have easily read it on my own as well.

White Man's Burden by William Easterly

This is the first book that directly, practically addresses the issue of global poverty that I've ever read.  Although I have a ways to go before I finish it, so far I have to say that Easterly does a good job of making the financial side of poverty understandable to a mathematically-challenged person like me while keeping my interest with interesting stories of aid working around the world.

Awaiting a Savior by Aaron Armstrong

I won this book on Noel Piper's blog, and I cannot wait to read it!  To truly understand poverty, it's not sufficient to only study it from a financial and cultural perspective.  Unless I also know what the root of poverty is and how to address it from a gospel-centered standpoint, I will merely be putting salve on a gaping wound.  This book looks wonderful!

When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert

My dear friend Ellen gave me this book for Christmas, and there are few people who know me better than she does.  It takes a look into different kinds of ways used to help alleviate poverty and what takes a stab at what is really worthwhile in the end.  Another one I can't wait to read.


So, if you were looking for some great answers, I'm sorry.  All I have now is resources.  Someday in the future I plan to write a post about good ways that I've seen people, particularly people in the church, helping to alleviate poverty, but let's face it, these posts can't get any longer.  


Now go read some books!

Not All Daisies and Roses

I have had this dream of living in a lower-income urban neighborhood for several years, and I didn’t choose it to be my dream because I thought that each day would leave me feeling like all was right with the world.  I was well aware of some of the struggles that I would see and hopefully eventually be able to help with, but thinking through things and living through things is different.

 

Seeing students take home packs of food at the end of each week so that they won’t go hungry (on school days many students eat breakfast, lunch, and a snack during the day).  Never being able to talk about but knowing that some of my students have hard home lives (sometimes they choose to share things with me that break my heart, and it’s hard to know what I can and can’t say to comfort them).  Hearing the neighbors fight.  Noticing judgment in someone’s eyes just because of the color of someone’s skin.  These things make my smile a little plastered on sometimes in school. 

 

How do we live with this?  How and what do we fight?  I’m here now, living where I thought I’d be useful.  Just how do I become useful?

Joyful, Conscious Waiting

Merry Christmas!


As I opened up my browser today, I was reminded that we are waiting for Christ's second coming.  Stories like this are happening on Christmas Day.  Things are not perfect here- so many things are going wrong in the world, yet still we are commanded to be joyful now.


May we be the most joyful people on earth today, in spite of the suffering around the world. In our joy, may we pray for and help those who are suffering, so that people who do horrible things, even people who plan to be suicide bombers, can instead hear the Good News.  


Wishing today that everyone celebrated Christmas.

Simplicity vs. Christmas Spirit

I just got the majority of the Christmas presents that I'm giving this year wrapped today.  It made me excited about Christmas for one of the first times this season.


Of course the reasons that I haven't been in the "spirit" are that:
- I am in 90* heat instead of -10
- There is no snow on the ground
- I have not just finished finals (although with turning in grades I feel a bit like I have)
- I haven't had the screaming American advertisements about Christmas pumped into my brain for the last two months
- I am not with my whole family
- The whole weather thing again.  It deserves to be mentioned three times


Still, it should not take presents to make me excited about God becoming flesh to live a human life and then die a human death for my sins.  With my time off school I've been doing a bit more reading, and the book Freedom of Simplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World by Richard Foster has been making me think a lot about where my consumer mindset comes from.


A few thoughts from the book-


Foster speaking about holy obedience:


We are to discipline ourselves to "seek first the Kingdom of God."  This focus must take precedence over absolutely everything.  We must never allow anything, whether deed or desire, to have that place of central importance.  The redistribution of the world's wealth cannot be central, the concern for ecology cannot be central, the desire to get out of the rat race cannot be central, the desire for simplicity itself cannot be central.  The moment any of these becomes the focus of our concern, it has become idolatry.  Only one thing is to be central: the Kingdom of God.  And, in fact, when the Kingdom of God is genuinely placed first, the equitable distribution of wealth, ecological concerns, the poor, simplicity, and all things necessary will be given their proper attention."


Personal finances:


Today there is a heretical teaching that is an absolute plague in American Christianity.  It is the dogmatic and unexamined credo that whatever we gain is ours to do with as we please...In no way can we twist the Scripture to justify such a belief.  Our lifestyle is not our private affair...The Gospel demands more of us: it is obligatory upon us to help one another hammer out the shape of Christian simplicity in the midst of modern affluence.


I have much to think about as I live here as a missionary on support and then as I go home in August as a very poor but also very privileged young American.

Great Finds

I am a bargain shopper to the core. There are only a few items that I own that I have paid full price for.  Sadly, Bolivia isn't big on sales.  HOWEVER, yesterday there was a GARAGE SALE here!  A giant one in our school gym!  And my big find was....three great books for 10Bs. ($1.40)!!!  I'm really excited about two of them.


First, I got a book by a famous Latin American theologian, Samuel Escobar.  I first heard of him from Ruth Padilla, a speaker at Urbana 09 last winter, and I've been hoping to find one of his books for cheap.  Can't wait to dig into this one, but I'll have to wait awhile until I finish a few on my shelf.




The other book I can't believe I found is by Helen Roseveare.  A missionary to the Congo, she lived through things I can only praise God I have never had to face.  But these things strengthened her faith in a way that mine will probably never be.  I couldn't wait to start this one, so I read the preface last night.  So far so good!



I'll let you know how these treasures turn out.  Yay for garage sales!

Building a Bridge

Bolivia has two very different worlds, and I have now spent months in each of them.  One side has material poverty, abuse of all kinds, abandonment, children living in conditions that break my heart-- this is what I have seen in the orphanages of Santa Cruz.  The other side-- my life at school-- includes 10 year olds with iPhones, chauffeurs, kids who look forward to school because they feel more accepted there, and parents who see their kids only a few hours a week.  Neither of these worlds is ideal, but I have seen love, care, and hope in both places.


I want my students to know reality.  I want them to know the city they live in thoroughly.  I want them to know how to share God's love with others.


I want the kids in the orphanages to have their physical needs met.  I want them to know that someone cares for them, is thinking of them.


So, our class is going to an orphanage for our Christmas party.  We're bringing snacks, clothes, and toys.  I'm trying to bridge a gap here, to take some prejudice out of my kid's hearts and help the kids at the orphanage to see that there are those in the upper class who don't just pity them, who actually want to show Jesus' love to them.  Pray with me that God is glorified through this experience.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it.”

-Proverbs 3:27