Exposure, Part 2

The transition from my rural Wisconsin upbringing to life in the big city has been incredibly eye opening for me, and in part one of this post I described what I've been learning.   At the end of my last post I left with questions that I vowed to think about in writing here.


What do I do with this new knowledge?  How do I fit in this life?  Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job?  Where does the gospel come in?


I've been thinking about these questions since way before I ever moved into the Phillips neighborhood, and I've been learning all I can from the wise people around me at school and in my house.  However, at this point in the game, I feel about as qualified to answer questions about ending poverty as a snail trying to win the 100 meter dash.  So, instead I will recommend to you the books I am reading or that are on my list.

Cultural Anthropology by Paul Hiebert

This book was what first opened my eyes to my desire to understand where people were coming from and address social issues in light of culture and background.  I read it for a class in college, but it was interesting enough that I would have easily read it on my own as well.

White Man's Burden by William Easterly

This is the first book that directly, practically addresses the issue of global poverty that I've ever read.  Although I have a ways to go before I finish it, so far I have to say that Easterly does a good job of making the financial side of poverty understandable to a mathematically-challenged person like me while keeping my interest with interesting stories of aid working around the world.

Awaiting a Savior by Aaron Armstrong

I won this book on Noel Piper's blog, and I cannot wait to read it!  To truly understand poverty, it's not sufficient to only study it from a financial and cultural perspective.  Unless I also know what the root of poverty is and how to address it from a gospel-centered standpoint, I will merely be putting salve on a gaping wound.  This book looks wonderful!

When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert

My dear friend Ellen gave me this book for Christmas, and there are few people who know me better than she does.  It takes a look into different kinds of ways used to help alleviate poverty and what takes a stab at what is really worthwhile in the end.  Another one I can't wait to read.


So, if you were looking for some great answers, I'm sorry.  All I have now is resources.  Someday in the future I plan to write a post about good ways that I've seen people, particularly people in the church, helping to alleviate poverty, but let's face it, these posts can't get any longer.  


Now go read some books!

Exposure, Part I

Growing up among the cows and corn fields of northern Wisconsin (ok, maybe not among  them, but in their general vicinity), I was exposed to plenty of things.  Things like eating grass fed beef and free range chickens/eggs without those fancy titles, watching the life cycle of all kinds of animals, understanding exactly how milk came from cows and feathers were plucked from chickens, and driving on icy country roads from a young age.  My parents outstanding reputation as the honest and hardworking chiropractors in our small town kept me well-fed and happy, and very sheltered from many realities of life.


What my charmed life sheltered me from was racial diversity (though not cultural-- I was taught to love my Norwegian heritage), urban poverty, discrimination, and economic disparity (although many of my friends were farmers' kids or lived below poverty levels, at the end of the day the 53 students in my class stood pretty united and pretty class-judgment-free).


Then this backwards little girl went to college, and her eyes were opened just a crack to the reality of life around her.  The more I heard, the more I wanted to experience urban living for myself.  I wanted to know what it felt like to have neighbors of all colors, and I wanted (naively?) to feel the crunch of barely having enough money to eek out a living.  So I moved to the Phillips neighborhood, the place where I thought I would live just like my neighbors.


And what did I find out?  First, that I will never, as much as I want to, be like the kids I work at school with, not even the white ones.  Why not?  Poverty is complex, and makes my temporary financial situation different from my students' families. I have this network of people bursting with resources who would give their right arms before they saw me go hungry or homeless.  My car tires are bare?  I mention the fact to my dad and he buys me new ones before I have time to decide whether my tiny savings account can handle it.  I have no nice jeans?  Not only can I drive myself to the nice thrift stores to get a cheap pair, I can also wear rich friends' Loft hand-me-downs.  No money to pay bills? Grandpa's birthday check comes just in time.


My students don't have these safety nets to cushion them.  When their parents can't pay rent, they live in a homeless shelter for a month or two.  When their cars break down they walk or taxi to school, and take the bus to buy groceries.  When their clothes wear out they come to school with holes in their pants and their brother's old shirt on.


Their families often have the added challenge of a language and culture barrier.  A parent who could manage a retail establishment in Mexico makes burritos at Qdoba because his control of English is inadequate for another job.  Racial discrimination keeps another parent from moving up in a company.  And a student grows up not knowing whether to identify with her Latino culture or her born-in-America pride, or both.  And I will never know these struggles like they do.


Yet most of these students of mine live in situational poverty.  Their parents have just moved to this country, or they moved to this neighborhood because unemployment forced them out of their old living situations, and they are working two or three jobs to create a better life for their children.  They go without so that someday soon their kids can have new uniforms, or even go to a "better" school.  These families are full of hope for the future.


So the question is, what do I do with this new knowledge?  How do I fit in this life?  Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job?  Where does the gospel come in?  I'll think about those questions in Part 2.

Now This Is Life

I haven’t been posting very frequently anymore, and as I was reflecting on that fact a few days ago, it occurred to me that maybe that’s because I feel like I’m really in my life now.  Last year I was in a new culture and country and I needed to share all that was going on in my heart and life.  Now life is slightly more normal, and I’m comfortable just sharing with those around me.

 

I think there’s also something different about being me again.  Last year I was Kayleen the Volunteer Teacher.  I could hide behind that part of my identity and speak from there.  Now I am Kayleen the Kayleen, and talking about living in my neighborhood is talking about me taking full responsibility for my thoughts and judgments and decisions.  This time in my life will be very special—being exposed to inner-city life and culture before I go on the mission field and possibly my last years as a single—but I think the struggles that it will carry are ones that will begin to define who I am.  Problems that I view as struggles here (finding a church family where I belong, being content to live on a limited budget, dealing with my procrastinating nature) will be struggles for me in the rest of my life.  Sharing those things is opening myself up and being raw.

 

But I think the sharing is worth it.  I want my life to be a witness to God’s power, and my weaknesses often best show His strength.  So I think you can count on the next two years.  You can count on updates and struggles and joys.  And after those two years maybe you can read about my travels to another new land, a new people, and God’s power.  May all of the things that I share glorify God can exalt Him above all else.

Gospel for the Inner City

Quick wonderful story of God's goodness even when life is hard.


Today I walked into a second grade classroom where I work, and one of the students who is often a behavior nightmare was behaving wonderfully.  I sat down and began to talk to him.  I told him that I heard that he used to attend a tutoring/discipling program that I local church puts on.  He got so excited about it!  He can no longer go because his mom doesn't have transportation, but he said he's been keeping up every week and plans on returning ASAP.  


God is the one who's doing a work in this kid's life, and I can't wait to see him back in the program, soaking up the truth of the word and being surrounded by gracious love.


Some days I love my job.

I Won!

I have been entering blog giveaways for quite some time, thanks to Amy, my blogging friend who seems to always win the coolest things.  I am proud to announce that today I won a really cool book!

I entered a while ago on Noel Piper (my pastor's wife)'s blog, and had forgotten about the giveaway.  What a pleasant thing to come home to!

Especially now that I am living in a neighborhood where poverty is a daily reality, I think Aaron Armstrong's book will be good for me to read.  Can't wait to open it up and dig in!

Not All Daisies and Roses

I have had this dream of living in a lower-income urban neighborhood for several years, and I didn’t choose it to be my dream because I thought that each day would leave me feeling like all was right with the world.  I was well aware of some of the struggles that I would see and hopefully eventually be able to help with, but thinking through things and living through things is different.

 

Seeing students take home packs of food at the end of each week so that they won’t go hungry (on school days many students eat breakfast, lunch, and a snack during the day).  Never being able to talk about but knowing that some of my students have hard home lives (sometimes they choose to share things with me that break my heart, and it’s hard to know what I can and can’t say to comfort them).  Hearing the neighbors fight.  Noticing judgment in someone’s eyes just because of the color of someone’s skin.  These things make my smile a little plastered on sometimes in school. 

 

How do we live with this?  How and what do we fight?  I’m here now, living where I thought I’d be useful.  Just how do I become useful?

Insider Outsider

This weekend I was made an offer that I couldn’t refuse for a gym membership in the ritzy neighborhood just a few miles away from my house here in Phillips. I’m glad for this opportunity because I do need to get in shape, and winter in Minnesota isn’t the best motivator for outside workouts.  The gym is really nice and I think that I get healthier just by walking in the door.

 

But this new identity that I have, member of this gym, makes me feel a little more like an outsider in the circles I am working to be a part of.  I have the extra spare change per month that my membership will cost—families I know are struggling just to put food on the table (which was me last month, but with only myself to support and no debt, my financial situation didn’t take very long to become semi-stable).  Why didn’t I use this extra money to help out those families?  What about the time that I will spend at that gym instead of building intentional relationships with my neighbors.  Was it really worth it?

 

How do I live in this world but not be of it?  Where is the line between being a responsible young professional and living an abandoned life of grace?  Is there even a line?  Can they possibly flow together for this missionary-wannabe?  I challenge you to pray for me as these questions become a part of my daily struggle, and also to examine your heart to see where your motives are for seemingly inconsequential decisions that you make each day.

 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.

- Psalm 130:5-6

I’ve moved!

After two months of the daily commute, of living over 30 min. from work, school, and church, I am happily settled in a beautiful house in the middle of the Phillips neighborhood of Minneapolis.

 

 

Yesterday when I got home from work one of my new housemates had also just gotten home, and she invited me to go with her to walk to the local Somali mall to get a cup of chai.  On our walk it was clear that our neighborhood is far from perfect—our house has just been remodeled and is in good shape, but several need lots of TLC, young kids walk themselves home from school, and threatening graffiti is a reminder that we need to be cautious.  However, this area is wonderful, too.  Our two white faces in a sea of black at the mall, friendly greetings from people who recognize my housemate on the walk, and people flying by in the bike lanes before it is too cold to run errands this way.

 

There are many here from people groups who are completely closed to the gospel.  I pray that the light of our house will shine beyond just the front porch and into the hearts of those who need Good News.

 

I am feeling so content to be where I am right now.  I live within walking distance of the school I work at.  A walk around the neighborhood makes it clear that I am the minority, and the young women I live with are excited to be here as well.

 

I just want to clarify that I don’t want to write about where I live without leaving out the cultural and racial diversity that exists, here, but I never want to sound or be prejudiced in my words.  I am here to create justice and equality, so if my words ever sound prejudiced, please leave a comment!  After growing up in Scandinavian Wisconsin, I’m still learning how to correctly express what’s on my heart when it comes to the racial injustices I see in the world.

Setting Stereotypes Straight

Small Thought for the Day:


I love it when a refugee comes in to the coffeeshop I work at and orders a latte, and I am sweeping and mopping the floor.  To me, in a very small way, that is some kind of social justice.

Purpose

I am sitting by my phone, waiting impatiently for a call saying whether I got some jobs I interviewed for.  Since I have another job where I am getting more hours to work each week, the reasons for me wanting these other jobs so badly are not just financial.  I also want to have work with purpose.


I know God can use me at the coffee shop where I work.  I know that my purpose there is not at all in vain and that this season is growing me.  I want to serve with a smile, and I love getting to know my co-workers.  However, I am also SO ready to have a job where I am helping people with more than their coffee addiction.  My heart is to help the hurting and oppressed.  This morning I read these verses, and they are the reason I am so eager for my phone to ring with good news today.

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;

   maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.

 Rescue the weak and the needy;

  deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Psalm 82: 3-4

Ready for Stability

Have I mentioned lately that I love the women I'm living with right now?  They are so godly and are teaching me so much about trusting in God's timing, a lesson I'm finding harder and harder to put into practice.


As much as I love living with these ladies, I can't get over the commute.  Over thirty minutes to get to my current job at a coffee shop.  Exactly thirty to get to the place I interview at tomorrow, and thirty-five to get to where I interviewed at today.  So why am I working/looking for jobs so far away?  These places are all in South Minneapolis.  I wish I could describe to you why I am so drawn to this area.  Let me start with my commute.  Everyday I go into the city, my first fifteen minutes are listening to John Piper and traffic-weaving.  Then, I round the corner by exit 25 and the startling skyline of downtown Minneapolis greets me.  The towering skyscrapers are my goal as I coax my little Ford Focus up to 70 to get past a big truck.  Just when I could exit right to get to those skyscrapers, I instead stay left to take 55 to skirt around the craziness.  A few blocks south and east, I turn right, and there I enter another world.  Suddenly, most people I see aren't the same color as me.  Houses are bright colors, driving takes on a fight-for-survival feel, and life slows down. I wouldn't walk alone in Powderhorn at night, but during the day Latino families stroll down the sidewalks and shops sell Halal meat and special rices.  Signs are in Spanish and English and/or Arabic or Amharic.  There is also need in this area.  One neon sign on my way to work proclaims "Metal detectors sold here."  Some houses are unkempt, and it's not uncommon to see a person holding a cardboard sign asking for food or money.  


Diversity meets need.  My passions (cultures and languages) meet my desire (to help those in need).  This is why I want to live in South Minneapolis, and that is why, as much as I love my roommates, I want to move soon to a house in South Minneapolis to live with other wonderful girls from my church.  I'm ready to stay put in one place for a few years.  I'm ready for stability, and I'm ready to have a neighborhood to call home and share Jesus with.  Pray with me that all of  this happens in God's perfect timing.

Respite

Less than a week to go before I move into my next house-- near the Twin Cities, living with two wonderful ladies until the house in Phillips I want to move into opens up.  I've spent a lot of time in the last few weeks in South Minneapolis, handing out resumes, dreaming, looking at houses.  


In case you've noticed (or not noticed), during these last few weeks I've been a very poor blogger.  Lots of things have been brewing in my mind.  They just weren't ready to come out yet.  So you're not in the dark, here is the plan:


- Move into the Twin Cities
- Get a job (this is looking hopeful)
- Settle for a few days
- Start blogging about urban (or suburban for a few months) living.  Tell my readers and write for my sake what I'm seeing, what I'm thinking, what I'm experiencing.  How does the gospel reach Latinos in South Minneapolis?  How can I reach the people I'm working with, hanging out with, and seeing?  How does a girl who grew up with corn and hay in her backyard learn to exist in the big city? 


These questions and more, pondered on this blog beginning in just one week.  Thanks for allowing me my respite; I've been learning a lot and can't wait to share.