Now This Is Life

I haven’t been posting very frequently anymore, and as I was reflecting on that fact a few days ago, it occurred to me that maybe that’s because I feel like I’m really in my life now.  Last year I was in a new culture and country and I needed to share all that was going on in my heart and life.  Now life is slightly more normal, and I’m comfortable just sharing with those around me.

 

I think there’s also something different about being me again.  Last year I was Kayleen the Volunteer Teacher.  I could hide behind that part of my identity and speak from there.  Now I am Kayleen the Kayleen, and talking about living in my neighborhood is talking about me taking full responsibility for my thoughts and judgments and decisions.  This time in my life will be very special—being exposed to inner-city life and culture before I go on the mission field and possibly my last years as a single—but I think the struggles that it will carry are ones that will begin to define who I am.  Problems that I view as struggles here (finding a church family where I belong, being content to live on a limited budget, dealing with my procrastinating nature) will be struggles for me in the rest of my life.  Sharing those things is opening myself up and being raw.

 

But I think the sharing is worth it.  I want my life to be a witness to God’s power, and my weaknesses often best show His strength.  So I think you can count on the next two years.  You can count on updates and struggles and joys.  And after those two years maybe you can read about my travels to another new land, a new people, and God’s power.  May all of the things that I share glorify God can exalt Him above all else.

Gospel for the Inner City

Quick wonderful story of God's goodness even when life is hard.


Today I walked into a second grade classroom where I work, and one of the students who is often a behavior nightmare was behaving wonderfully.  I sat down and began to talk to him.  I told him that I heard that he used to attend a tutoring/discipling program that I local church puts on.  He got so excited about it!  He can no longer go because his mom doesn't have transportation, but he said he's been keeping up every week and plans on returning ASAP.  


God is the one who's doing a work in this kid's life, and I can't wait to see him back in the program, soaking up the truth of the word and being surrounded by gracious love.


Some days I love my job.

Giving Thanks

Last Thanksgiving I sat in 95 degree heat with tears streaming down my cheeks as my nieces sang a song for me over Skype.  I was glad to be in Bolivia, but spending the holidays away from my family was harder than I had ever imagined.  I made it through Christmas with not-as-many tears, but this year I have had extra reason to give thanks as I get to spend both holidays in the US with most of my family (minus Heather.  I will miss having her around for the holidays.).

Toasting the day with sparkling grape juice

Our Thanksgiving was nothing too special—we went to my brother and sister-in-law’s house and had turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry, and pumpkin pie.  The basics. 

Highlights of the day were:
- Waking up and using my parents’ new juicer.  Our juice consisted of celery, carrot, orange, apple, lime, cranberry, broccoli, cumcumber, ginger, and more I think.  Deeeelicious!
- Getting to see my grandpa.  He just moved into retirement housing, and this was his first holiday without my beautiful Grandma Kay.  We all missed her. 
- Todd and Nicole had prepared a beautiful antipasto which is a  tradition in our family (because of our Italian relatives) that I had completely forgotten about.  It was beautiful, and we all got to finish putting it together.  Eat with delicious French bread that my mom brought made for a perfect appetizer.
- After we prayed, we all went around and said what we were thankful for.  I, of course, was thankful to be in the States.  My brother made a nice speech about being thankful for family that almost made me cry.
- Watching the Packer game!!!  My first full game since before I left for Bolivia (although I am required to keep up on the stats if I want to have significant conversations around here).
- Going home and unpacking Christmas decorations with my mom and dad. 

What a wonderful day!

On Being Back

My last few months in Bolivia were like injecting my veins with friendship speed.  Every day was celebrating something, and I had no end of cool people to celebrate with because they were coming and going, in and out of my country and city.  That's missionary life.

And missionary life was good for my friendships here in the US too, at least for those last few months.  My Facebook wall was always full of kind notes about people excited to see me when I got home.  Home.  As if that place existed to me anymore.


Now I've been back for just under four months.  I'm just beginning to feel settled into a semi-permanent job, a church, and a house.  And I am not on friendship crack anymore. And it's hard for me.  Maybe selfishly, but I liked being the novelty.  I was the gringa who could speak Spanish to my Bolivian friends, and my friends in the US were willing to excuse my bad communication and forgetfulness because I was serving the Lord in a foreign land. And the missionaries.  They were friends who understood my adventurous spirit and why I was willing to serve the way I did.  But my friends in Bolivia, even if they wanted to, do not have consistent internet access to stay in close contact.   My friends here can see my faults up close and personal, and I am just me again to everyone.  


How do I learn to be me, without a ministry or a cultural barrier to cover the parts of me I'd like to hide?  How do I exist exactly as God intends me to in this normal life?  This life means some nights at home with a book, and some days without phone calls. I like those things, but I'm not used to them.  Call it reverse culture shock, call it my third culture, but adjusting to do.

Life is not poetic

In case we become discouraged because our lives seem ordinary.

“The colored sunsets and starry heavens, the beautiful mountains and the shining seas, the fragrant woods and painted flowers, are not half so beautiful as a soul that is serving Jesus out of love, in the wear and tear of common, unpoetic life.”

- Faber (from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman)

Being Watched

I have hardly lived in my new house here in the Phillips neighborhood for two weeks now, yet in the last few days I found out that two of my students live on the same block as I do.  

Having students so close to me is a privilege and also a responsibility.  Apparently little second graders have lots of time to peer out their windows; they've both mentioned seeing me go out to my car or check my mail.  I want to be the teacher that leads these kids to the truth, that tells how they can live to their potential.  I guess now that my every move is being watched I need to make sure that I'm setting that example.  Is my life speaking Christ?  Are my actions showing that I'm not content to fit the mold that society says I was made for?  


Pray for me, that I would be bold to speak when the time calls for it, and that my example, even from car door to house, would be a light that shines for all to see.

I Won!

I have been entering blog giveaways for quite some time, thanks to Amy, my blogging friend who seems to always win the coolest things.  I am proud to announce that today I won a really cool book!

I entered a while ago on Noel Piper (my pastor's wife)'s blog, and had forgotten about the giveaway.  What a pleasant thing to come home to!

Especially now that I am living in a neighborhood where poverty is a daily reality, I think Aaron Armstrong's book will be good for me to read.  Can't wait to open it up and dig in!