I haven’t been posting very frequently anymore, and as I was reflecting on that fact a few days ago, it occurred to me that maybe that’s because I feel like I’m really in my life now. Last year I was in a new culture and country and I needed to share all that was going on in my heart and life. Now life is slightly more normal, and I’m comfortable just sharing with those around me.
I think there’s also something different about being me again. Last year I was Kayleen the Volunteer Teacher. I could hide behind that part of my identity and speak from there. Now I am Kayleen the Kayleen, and talking about living in my neighborhood is talking about me taking full responsibility for my thoughts and judgments and decisions. This time in my life will be very special—being exposed to inner-city life and culture before I go on the mission field and possibly my last years as a single—but I think the struggles that it will carry are ones that will begin to define who I am. Problems that I view as struggles here (finding a church family where I belong, being content to live on a limited budget, dealing with my procrastinating nature) will be struggles for me in the rest of my life. Sharing those things is opening myself up and being raw.
But I think the sharing is worth it. I want my life to be a witness to God’s power, and my weaknesses often best show His strength. So I think you can count on the next two years. You can count on updates and struggles and joys. And after those two years maybe you can read about my travels to another new land, a new people, and God’s power. May all of the things that I share glorify God can exalt Him above all else.
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