Dolor y esperanza

Como pienso que nadie lee este blog excepto que yo- y como necesito como nada practicar mi español- voy a escribir éste en castellano. Este fin de semana tenía la oportunidad de hablar con uno de mis amigos que recién fue a Bolivia por poco tiempo más que yo y con propósito similar. Era una charla buenísima. La cosa es que después de hablar por tanto tiempo de Bolivia y escuchar tantos cosas de allí, quiero visitar otra vez. Tengo que orar que si Dios no me quiere allí que toque mi corazón con propósito diferente.

Es asombroso cómo Dios usa los personas que van por allí por Su gloria. Noté que mi amigo ayudó mucho con la tarea en el hogar Talita Cumi, y con su presencia en Cristo Viene niños, y es obvio que la gente allí será impactada por su visita. Me anima que Dios sea glorificado a través de sus siervos débiles- porque estos somos.
Mi corazón está lleno de deseos de ver el evangelio predicado tras el mundo, y quiero que Dios sea alabado en cada lengua, nación, y pueblo. Señor, úseme.


Feeling busy

I so often get this feeling that if my planner isn't sufficiently filled with activities to keep me busy for most of the day I'm not doing good enough. This past semester was filled with that feeling. I had two jobs, neither of which ended up giving me half as many hours as I was expecting, and I took 17 credits, which was smallest load since my freshman year. I had free time, and I was justifiably upset with myself that too much of that time was spent watching episodes of Boy Meets World on Youtube or thinking about the things I should be doing.

This lack of activity isn't all bad, though. I opened myself to so many new oportunities and experiences. I got involved in the Spanish-speaking church plant that Bethlehem is doing, which was great for my Spanish and began a few new relationships. I got to spend more time with girls on my hall doing crazy stuff. I volunteered in an adult ESL class once a week, and I ended up loving it. In the ESL class I tutored the same Taiwanese girl, Lesley, almost every week. Because this class is through my church, there are lots of opportunities to share the gospel, and I did get to share with her exactly what I believed a few times. It's crazy that I got so upset about not making money and getting as many classes as possible in my schedule, when God was using me to accomplish His will in a different way than I had planned. I am definitely learning to be more open to what He has for me. His plans are perfect.



I realize that this post is long overdue, and I am guilty of wanting to write in here but not wanting to take the time to do it.
I am the prayer coordinator for our missions fellowship on campus next year. Me. The prayer coordinator. I feel so inadequate. I have been struggling with these feelings since last Thursday when I met with the prayer coordinator from last year and just realized how much God has gifted her in prayer. I don't have those same gifts. Prayer for me is a spiritual discipline that often is just that- something I discipline myself to do.
Don't get me wrong, I like praying, and I love that the God who created me wants to hear from me and cares about what I have to say and responds when I cry out to Him in accordance with His Word. It's just that I am weak. I am so easily distracted in my praying. I find a quiet place, begin to seek God, and next week's schedule pops into my head. I realize a wonderful thing God has done, begin to praise Him, and I start running my accomplishments through my mind. I start to intercede for a friend, and my last conversation with that friends starts to worry me, or make me happy, or just DISTRACT me.
I am confident that if God has placed me in this position for next year, He will use me. I'm not sure if I'm taking this verse a little out of context when I say that my situation is like in Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." In my weakness of praying God will intercede when I cannot. Anyway, I do know that He will use me even though I am unworthy. I look forward to all I will learn about prayer, but I am still pretty scared. I guess I just don't even know what to do or think. What a wonderful way to end.