The Faith and Helplessness Required in Accepting God's Provision

I am in the middle of writing thank you notes to supporters to send home with my sister, who leaves in just two days for the US.  With each new card I take out to write on, I am amazed again at the way that God has provided for me while I've been here. 


Although a few of my supporters are consistent monthly, I didn't really have time to ask for people to commit to giving to me while I was here.  Most of my gifts are one-time donations, and I continue to be blown away at the way that God knows exactly what my needs are and provides for them through His body.  In my first six months here, I have never been without the funds to pay for basic necessities-- food, rent, utilities, even internet and transportation.


That said, I am learning a lot because, sometimes, God leaves me waiting to see how my needs will be provided for.  I am in a place of faith that I've never been in before.  I feel helpless at times, not knowing where next month's money will come from.  I'm learning to trust that the same God who has brought me here sustains me.  I'm even learning to love the way that He does it.  


One of my favorite examples:  In my first month of being here I wasn't yet able to ask for any support because my application to work with my mission was still being processed.  I was already teaching at the school and living at my current house, but my first month's rent was almost due and, although I had sufficient funds in my account, I hadn't even brought my bank card with me from the States to withdraw anything (only planning on being here two weeks).  In the crazy rush of the first three weeks of teaching, I didn't even have time to think about needing money.  But God was thinking.


I opened my desk drawer at the end of my third week of teaching and found an envelope with my name on it.  Opening it up, I found the exact amount needed to cover rent, utilities, and transportation for the month.  There was no note enclosed, no signature, no name except mine. I still have no idea where the money came from, but that envelope was the beginning of my trusting in God's provision.


I'm thankful to those people from my church back home and my friends who are supporting me here, and I am thankful to God for the lessons He is teaching me.  I am unworthy of His grace, but unbelievably thankful to share in it.

Provision

Sometimes I wonder about making the decision to stay here.  Who am I to teach?  What kind of person makes such an impulsive decision?  How in the world will my physical needs be provided for?

God is slowly showing me the answers to these questions.  I'm learning daily that God called me to the 5th grade this year for a purpose.  I'm learning that responding quickly to God's calling is something that He is continuing to teach me how to do-- a quick decision doesn't always equal an impulsive one.  And finally, He is providing for my needs.

I was BLOWN AWAY last week when I got my support report for September.  Not many people had gotten my support letter before the end of September, so I was only supported by a few people.  There is no way I would have gotten money for October except that a family from my church supported me for a month and a half.  Yes, that's right...they gave me a donation that completely covered my October costs.  Praise goes to God!  Who knows how I would have continued to be here if it weren't for their quick response to my need!  I stand in awe and gratefulness for what they've done and how God has worked in my life.  

There have been parts of this "living by faith" thing that have been hard and required me to walk blindly into what I trust to be God's faithfulness, but that moment was like having blinders pulled off my face and seeing a concrete, tangible experience of His faithfulness.

I don't know if the rest of the school year will look like this abundant provision or if there will be times of scarcity, but I am confident that the God who sent His very own Son to die for my sins will certainly give me what I need for each day- in little ways or in big ones.

My God will supply all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:19