I remember blankets pulled up to chins, giggles, and, later, serious talks. Sleepovers growing up were full of nonsense, but also plans for our futures. My friends and I would lay out our lives, telling each other how many children we wanted, who we thought we would marry, and what jobs we would have.
23. The age I always said I would get married at. I am nearly halfway through my twenty-third year, and barring a miracle (which I do believe in) I will not be getting married this year. Life is not working out exactly as I had planned when I was thirteen years old.
And I've gone through some phases where I pine. Where I am discontent, thinking that getting married, having kids, and putting down roots is the only way I'll be happy. I know the legitimacy of these feelings, and Reader, if that is you right now, I feel you.
But lately there have been no pinings. It has been enough for me to wake up each morning knowing that, for this day, God has me single here in Bolivia. It's true that I wouldn't be able to teach 5th grade and be involved in so many ministries here if I were dating or married, but my contentment goes beyond that. It's a new feeling for me; finding what I need in Christ alone. His Word has truly become my daily bread. I need it each morning before I face work and ministry. And I'm seeing that no other relationship could ever give to me what His love, protection, and care provide.
I have seen that being a single missionary is hard. This year has made me pray that God will provide me with someone before I go on a lifetime assignment. But for this time and this place, I am at rest. I have peace. If life had gone according to my sleepover schemings, I might not know the reliance on God that I do now.
So be patient in hope. Seek first His kingdom. Rejoice in the Lord. Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. God's plans are always for our good.