In the past eight months I have been privileged to work with people/children (children are people too I guess) from the following countries. Who says cross-cultural ministry has to be overseas?
Mexico
Puerto Rico
Ecuador
El Salvador
Colombia
Peru
Nepal
Laos
Kenya
Somalia
Tanzania
I love my job! :)
God has designed each part of who we are to accomplish His purposes, down to the very way our hands are shaped. I believe He formed mine to bring His name to all nations.
6/24/2012
6/17/2012
More Than a Dream
A reflection on this new stage in my life.
I have been writing about living my dream of settling in the Phillips neighborhood in Minneapolis almost since I started this blog. Before I graduated college I made plans to move into this multicultural area of town, and I had great plans for changing the world. And then God put me in a fifth grade classroom in Bolivia for a year. And I learned things about the world that I never would have known if I had jumped headfirst into inner-city life in the US. Bolivia was harder than I could have imagined, and I dreamed of the day that I would live in Minneapolis
After a year volunteering in South America and a few months of commuting to a barista position from the suburbs, I landed a job and house in Phillips. The acquisitions came within a month of each other, and life since then has been one new experience after another.
I wore dress pants and a bright coral short sleeve dress shirt my first day working at the school in Phillips. Office staff, teachers, and principals all wore jeans. I thought I was quick because I caught a boy calling another girl a crybaby in Spanish, but failed to realize in my first months that the students I work with often go home to empty houses, parents working late at minimum wage jobs to provide for their families.
And my new house? It took me several weeks to adjust to the beauty of my remodeled room and the convenience of our fancy kitchen. How could I live here while our neighbors struggled to pay heating bills and cooked on barely-functional stoves? I still don't know how I feel about the relative opulence of my place in comparison to the houses in my neighborhood.
But I do know how my students react when they find out that I live in the neighborhood. Joyful incredulousness. "Miss Kayleen, you are my neighbor! You live here too?" And my coworkers, although they don't seem to understand why, think it's cool that I am experiencing some of what the students do, and I think it creates a respect that I hope will open doors for sharing why I live how I live.
So, overall, Phillips is a dream for so many reasons, but now, more than anything else, it is home.
Photos from: tcdailyplanet.net, http://www.youtube.com/user/MainStreetProject, phillipswhittier365.blogspot.com
I have been writing about living my dream of settling in the Phillips neighborhood in Minneapolis almost since I started this blog. Before I graduated college I made plans to move into this multicultural area of town, and I had great plans for changing the world. And then God put me in a fifth grade classroom in Bolivia for a year. And I learned things about the world that I never would have known if I had jumped headfirst into inner-city life in the US. Bolivia was harder than I could have imagined, and I dreamed of the day that I would live in Minneapolis
After a year volunteering in South America and a few months of commuting to a barista position from the suburbs, I landed a job and house in Phillips. The acquisitions came within a month of each other, and life since then has been one new experience after another.
I wore dress pants and a bright coral short sleeve dress shirt my first day working at the school in Phillips. Office staff, teachers, and principals all wore jeans. I thought I was quick because I caught a boy calling another girl a crybaby in Spanish, but failed to realize in my first months that the students I work with often go home to empty houses, parents working late at minimum wage jobs to provide for their families.
And my new house? It took me several weeks to adjust to the beauty of my remodeled room and the convenience of our fancy kitchen. How could I live here while our neighbors struggled to pay heating bills and cooked on barely-functional stoves? I still don't know how I feel about the relative opulence of my place in comparison to the houses in my neighborhood.
But I do know how my students react when they find out that I live in the neighborhood. Joyful incredulousness. "Miss Kayleen, you are my neighbor! You live here too?" And my coworkers, although they don't seem to understand why, think it's cool that I am experiencing some of what the students do, and I think it creates a respect that I hope will open doors for sharing why I live how I live.
So, overall, Phillips is a dream for so many reasons, but now, more than anything else, it is home.
Photos from: tcdailyplanet.net, http://www.youtube.com/user/MainStreetProject, phillipswhittier365.blogspot.com
6/13/2012
Back for Good
Nearly six months of sixty hour work weeks, Greek class, and an intense small group led to a major gap in what used to be my super-consistent blogging. Sure, there were plenty of times that I pulled up my blog, looked at it, and decided that I didn't have energy to start something I couldn't keep up with. Sure, I felt guilty about it sometimes. But it would have been unrealistic for me to keep track of my experiences on here with soooooo much going on in the world around me. My prayer journal became my blog for a time.
So, for the four of you who actually keep up with my blog and enjoy updates, I am sorry. And I am back.
This summer I will be working with the cool kids on the block. Kids ages 5-12 will come to a summer arts camp to learn great art skills, rise above their situations, and learn valuable skills for the real world.
I am so excited about my role (Group Lead) at this camp for a bajillion reasons. I get experience with a non-profit. I am learning about art. I am helping kids from my school and neighborhood. I am meeting cool new people every day. This week I have been training for working with them (don't worry, I'm not teaching art), and next week they come! Pray for me and keep reading (next post WILL be before the end of the weekend) to learn how the summer is going.
3/04/2012
In a small room...
Today I had the pleasure of sitting with two friends who are becoming very dear to me in the translation booth at church. I listened and watched them work together as they simultaneously translated the entire sermon into Spanish, one speaking and the other quickly pulling up Bible passages in Spanish and typing words that needed to be clarified. It was wonderful just to be getting that kind of experience in interpreting.
But the highlight of that time, and maybe my whole week, was when the sermon was over and we had a few minutes without the microphone while the worship songs were being sung. Sitting there with this couple, singing songs of praise together in a small room in the basement of the church, knowing that we were joined upstairs by a thousand other believers, made my heart fill with joy. I felt closer to God there than I have in church in a dozen Sundays.
But the highlight of that time, and maybe my whole week, was when the sermon was over and we had a few minutes without the microphone while the worship songs were being sung. Sitting there with this couple, singing songs of praise together in a small room in the basement of the church, knowing that we were joined upstairs by a thousand other believers, made my heart fill with joy. I felt closer to God there than I have in church in a dozen Sundays.
2/19/2012
Balance
Some people are called to voluntary poverty, no doubt about it. And they live it beautifully, and they are confident of their calling, and they might want nice things, but they follow God's leading and live on less than most of us.
I live in poverty. Just barely, and only according to a number set by the US government. Really, I have plenty of money for all I need and some left over. So my issue lately hasn't been "Am I called to voluntary poverty (not really a relevant question)?" but "What do I do with the "wiggle room" in my budget?"
Nice things are nice. Soooo nice. Like cognac-colored boots. Want them! And a nice new bicycle to ride around the metro area. Would be so nice! And I want to backpack Europe. So that would mean a nice framepack as well. And a good-quality new sleeping bag. So the list goes on.
But there are so many ways that I can use my money. A missionary living in a tiny village in Bolivia has to raise money in case she needs to airlift one of the townspeople out. A family is moving and needs some extra cash. Close friends have birthdays. A friend goes on a short-term trip. Kids in my neighborhood need clothes for school.
My tendency is to swing from one extreme to the other. One month of big spending, feel guilt, one month of more giving, ignore things that I need, repeat cycle. I think what I need at this point in my life is some balance. I need to follow God's leading when He is telling me to be generous, but I also have to be able to look professional at work, which might mean new shoes or a cardigan.
This is something I've been thinking about for several years, and I've even blogged about it before:
- Simplicity vs Christmas Spirit
-The Weak and Fatherless
- Urbana Thoughts: Working in Poverty
I don't claim to have the answers, but I'll keep writing about this as I live in Phillips and make ends meet.
I live in poverty. Just barely, and only according to a number set by the US government. Really, I have plenty of money for all I need and some left over. So my issue lately hasn't been "Am I called to voluntary poverty (not really a relevant question)?" but "What do I do with the "wiggle room" in my budget?"
Nice things are nice. Soooo nice. Like cognac-colored boots. Want them! And a nice new bicycle to ride around the metro area. Would be so nice! And I want to backpack Europe. So that would mean a nice framepack as well. And a good-quality new sleeping bag. So the list goes on.
But there are so many ways that I can use my money. A missionary living in a tiny village in Bolivia has to raise money in case she needs to airlift one of the townspeople out. A family is moving and needs some extra cash. Close friends have birthdays. A friend goes on a short-term trip. Kids in my neighborhood need clothes for school.
My tendency is to swing from one extreme to the other. One month of big spending, feel guilt, one month of more giving, ignore things that I need, repeat cycle. I think what I need at this point in my life is some balance. I need to follow God's leading when He is telling me to be generous, but I also have to be able to look professional at work, which might mean new shoes or a cardigan.
This is something I've been thinking about for several years, and I've even blogged about it before:
- Simplicity vs Christmas Spirit
-The Weak and Fatherless
- Urbana Thoughts: Working in Poverty
I don't claim to have the answers, but I'll keep writing about this as I live in Phillips and make ends meet.
2/12/2012
Life, always interrupted
It turns out that despite my best intentions I am not a great blogger in the United States. Life here is so fast-paced that I enjoy the few moments of quiet that I get too much to open my computer, even when blog post ideas are swimming around in my head. Checking Facebook isn't even fun anymore. We'll see if blogging returns to a therapeutic activity again when life slows down again (like life will ever slow down).
What has my life been full of lately? Well, exciting things. Things that have grown me in my spiritual walk and made me feel like I have community here. Things like:
- Hosting my older sister and friends now that I have a house to live in.
- Joining a new small group that has challenged me to live in community and to live for Christ
- Barely staying up to snuff in my Greek class
- Working extra hours at the coffee shop so I can go visit my grandma in Maryland over spring break
- Taking part in a weekly community meal with my wonderful housemates
- Listening to sermons on Hebrews, which we are studying for small group
So, maybe that's why I haven't been writing, but that's not an excuse to not document in some form the joys and sorrows of life with Christ. Here's my hope that the next time a great post idea comes into my brain I'll take the time to type it out.
What has my life been full of lately? Well, exciting things. Things that have grown me in my spiritual walk and made me feel like I have community here. Things like:
- Hosting my older sister and friends now that I have a house to live in.
- Joining a new small group that has challenged me to live in community and to live for Christ
- Barely staying up to snuff in my Greek class
- Working extra hours at the coffee shop so I can go visit my grandma in Maryland over spring break
- Taking part in a weekly community meal with my wonderful housemates
- Listening to sermons on Hebrews, which we are studying for small group
So, maybe that's why I haven't been writing, but that's not an excuse to not document in some form the joys and sorrows of life with Christ. Here's my hope that the next time a great post idea comes into my brain I'll take the time to type it out.
1/23/2012
Exposure, Part 2
The transition from my rural Wisconsin upbringing to life in the big city has been incredibly eye opening for me, and in part one of this post I described what I've been learning. At the end of my last post I left with questions that I vowed to think about in writing here.
What do I do with this new knowledge? How do I fit in this life? Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job? Where does the gospel come in?
I've been thinking about these questions since way before I ever moved into the Phillips neighborhood, and I've been learning all I can from the wise people around me at school and in my house. However, at this point in the game, I feel about as qualified to answer questions about ending poverty as a snail trying to win the 100 meter dash. So, instead I will recommend to you the books I am reading or that are on my list.
This book was what first opened my eyes to my desire to understand where people were coming from and address social issues in light of culture and background. I read it for a class in college, but it was interesting enough that I would have easily read it on my own as well.
This is the first book that directly, practically addresses the issue of global poverty that I've ever read. Although I have a ways to go before I finish it, so far I have to say that Easterly does a good job of making the financial side of poverty understandable to a mathematically-challenged person like me while keeping my interest with interesting stories of aid working around the world.
I won this book on Noel Piper's blog, and I cannot wait to read it! To truly understand poverty, it's not sufficient to only study it from a financial and cultural perspective. Unless I also know what the root of poverty is and how to address it from a gospel-centered standpoint, I will merely be putting salve on a gaping wound. This book looks wonderful!
My dear friend Ellen gave me this book for Christmas, and there are few people who know me better than she does. It takes a look into different kinds of ways used to help alleviate poverty and what takes a stab at what is really worthwhile in the end. Another one I can't wait to read.
So, if you were looking for some great answers, I'm sorry. All I have now is resources. Someday in the future I plan to write a post about good ways that I've seen people, particularly people in the church, helping to alleviate poverty, but let's face it, these posts can't get any longer.
Now go read some books!
What do I do with this new knowledge? How do I fit in this life? Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job? Where does the gospel come in?
I've been thinking about these questions since way before I ever moved into the Phillips neighborhood, and I've been learning all I can from the wise people around me at school and in my house. However, at this point in the game, I feel about as qualified to answer questions about ending poverty as a snail trying to win the 100 meter dash. So, instead I will recommend to you the books I am reading or that are on my list.
Cultural Anthropology by Paul Hiebert
This book was what first opened my eyes to my desire to understand where people were coming from and address social issues in light of culture and background. I read it for a class in college, but it was interesting enough that I would have easily read it on my own as well.
White Man's Burden by William Easterly
This is the first book that directly, practically addresses the issue of global poverty that I've ever read. Although I have a ways to go before I finish it, so far I have to say that Easterly does a good job of making the financial side of poverty understandable to a mathematically-challenged person like me while keeping my interest with interesting stories of aid working around the world.
Awaiting a Savior by Aaron Armstrong
I won this book on Noel Piper's blog, and I cannot wait to read it! To truly understand poverty, it's not sufficient to only study it from a financial and cultural perspective. Unless I also know what the root of poverty is and how to address it from a gospel-centered standpoint, I will merely be putting salve on a gaping wound. This book looks wonderful!
When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert
My dear friend Ellen gave me this book for Christmas, and there are few people who know me better than she does. It takes a look into different kinds of ways used to help alleviate poverty and what takes a stab at what is really worthwhile in the end. Another one I can't wait to read.
So, if you were looking for some great answers, I'm sorry. All I have now is resources. Someday in the future I plan to write a post about good ways that I've seen people, particularly people in the church, helping to alleviate poverty, but let's face it, these posts can't get any longer.
Now go read some books!
1/17/2012
Exposure, Part I
Growing up among the cows and corn fields of northern Wisconsin (ok, maybe not among them, but in their general vicinity), I was exposed to plenty of things. Things like eating grass fed beef and free range chickens/eggs without those fancy titles, watching the life cycle of all kinds of animals, understanding exactly how milk came from cows and feathers were plucked from chickens, and driving on icy country roads from a young age. My parents outstanding reputation as the honest and hardworking chiropractors in our small town kept me well-fed and happy, and very sheltered from many realities of life.
What my charmed life sheltered me from was racial diversity (though not cultural-- I was taught to love my Norwegian heritage), urban poverty, discrimination, and economic disparity (although many of my friends were farmers' kids or lived below poverty levels, at the end of the day the 53 students in my class stood pretty united and pretty class-judgment-free).
Then this backwards little girl went to college, and her eyes were opened just a crack to the reality of life around her. The more I heard, the more I wanted to experience urban living for myself. I wanted to know what it felt like to have neighbors of all colors, and I wanted (naively?) to feel the crunch of barely having enough money to eek out a living. So I moved to the Phillips neighborhood, the place where I thought I would live just like my neighbors.
And what did I find out? First, that I will never, as much as I want to, be like the kids I work at school with, not even the white ones. Why not? Poverty is complex, and makes my temporary financial situation different from my students' families. I have this network of people bursting with resources who would give their right arms before they saw me go hungry or homeless. My car tires are bare? I mention the fact to my dad and he buys me new ones before I have time to decide whether my tiny savings account can handle it. I have no nice jeans? Not only can I drive myself to the nice thrift stores to get a cheap pair, I can also wear rich friends' Loft hand-me-downs. No money to pay bills? Grandpa's birthday check comes just in time.
My students don't have these safety nets to cushion them. When their parents can't pay rent, they live in a homeless shelter for a month or two. When their cars break down they walk or taxi to school, and take the bus to buy groceries. When their clothes wear out they come to school with holes in their pants and their brother's old shirt on.
Their families often have the added challenge of a language and culture barrier. A parent who could manage a retail establishment in Mexico makes burritos at Qdoba because his control of English is inadequate for another job. Racial discrimination keeps another parent from moving up in a company. And a student grows up not knowing whether to identify with her Latino culture or her born-in-America pride, or both. And I will never know these struggles like they do.
Yet most of these students of mine live in situational poverty. Their parents have just moved to this country, or they moved to this neighborhood because unemployment forced them out of their old living situations, and they are working two or three jobs to create a better life for their children. They go without so that someday soon their kids can have new uniforms, or even go to a "better" school. These families are full of hope for the future.
So the question is, what do I do with this new knowledge? How do I fit in this life? Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job? Where does the gospel come in? I'll think about those questions in Part 2.
What my charmed life sheltered me from was racial diversity (though not cultural-- I was taught to love my Norwegian heritage), urban poverty, discrimination, and economic disparity (although many of my friends were farmers' kids or lived below poverty levels, at the end of the day the 53 students in my class stood pretty united and pretty class-judgment-free).
Then this backwards little girl went to college, and her eyes were opened just a crack to the reality of life around her. The more I heard, the more I wanted to experience urban living for myself. I wanted to know what it felt like to have neighbors of all colors, and I wanted (naively?) to feel the crunch of barely having enough money to eek out a living. So I moved to the Phillips neighborhood, the place where I thought I would live just like my neighbors.
And what did I find out? First, that I will never, as much as I want to, be like the kids I work at school with, not even the white ones. Why not? Poverty is complex, and makes my temporary financial situation different from my students' families. I have this network of people bursting with resources who would give their right arms before they saw me go hungry or homeless. My car tires are bare? I mention the fact to my dad and he buys me new ones before I have time to decide whether my tiny savings account can handle it. I have no nice jeans? Not only can I drive myself to the nice thrift stores to get a cheap pair, I can also wear rich friends' Loft hand-me-downs. No money to pay bills? Grandpa's birthday check comes just in time.
My students don't have these safety nets to cushion them. When their parents can't pay rent, they live in a homeless shelter for a month or two. When their cars break down they walk or taxi to school, and take the bus to buy groceries. When their clothes wear out they come to school with holes in their pants and their brother's old shirt on.
Their families often have the added challenge of a language and culture barrier. A parent who could manage a retail establishment in Mexico makes burritos at Qdoba because his control of English is inadequate for another job. Racial discrimination keeps another parent from moving up in a company. And a student grows up not knowing whether to identify with her Latino culture or her born-in-America pride, or both. And I will never know these struggles like they do.
Yet most of these students of mine live in situational poverty. Their parents have just moved to this country, or they moved to this neighborhood because unemployment forced them out of their old living situations, and they are working two or three jobs to create a better life for their children. They go without so that someday soon their kids can have new uniforms, or even go to a "better" school. These families are full of hope for the future.
So the question is, what do I do with this new knowledge? How do I fit in this life? Was it even a good idea for me to move here and get this job? Where does the gospel come in? I'll think about those questions in Part 2.
1/14/2012
Legacy
I have just returned from what my grandpa deemed "The Kay Stucky Memorial Cruise," and I am spending the evening remembering my grandma by eating her favorite ice cream.
I am sitting in my bed and take the lid off of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. Grandma used her spoon to scrape off the inside of the lid first, so that's what I do too. Her dentures made it too hard for her to chew the toffee, so I suck on Heath Bar just like she did. And my mind goes back to my years taking care of Grandma.
I don't have a lot of meaningful memories of Grandma Kay from my young years. She would sit and smoke her cigarettes and watch golf when we visited her, and I was much more interested in the toys in her basement than who she was. I remember her generosity-- buying my cousins and I matching dresses and talking parrots for Christmas and birthday gifts. But I never really got to know my grandma until the end of my senior year of high school when I began to help her. Her arthritis and an ulcer on her leg gave her limited mobility, so I would visit her once a week or so and do laundry, chop vegetables, or vacuum. Never one to accept a handout, my grandma always slipped a bill into my hand as I left and refused to listen to my protestations. When I started college I would drive over once a month to clean the bathrooms and stock the fridge. During these times she would teach me about "crumbs" on the floor. "If you just pick up any crumb or fuzz you see on the floor, you can wait much longer to vacuum." And beets. "Try boiling them for twenty minutes and see if the skin doesn't just fall right off." And bookkeeping. "If you so much as blow on a piece of paper, label and date it."
With three children, eleven grandchildren, and four great grandchildren, she never missed a birthday and remembered to call for friends' anniversaries. No matter how much pain her ulcer or arthritis gave her, she always managed to sound pleasant on the phone. Always she had good news about her family to share with a visitor, and always she took care of my grandpa.
She smoked cigarettes all day long and almost never missed an episode of All My Children. Some of her habits I never want to imitate. However, as her pain worsened and I began to help her bathe and take care of herself, I learned to appreciate her love of beauty. She was not ready for visitors without red lipstick on, and the last thing we did before leaving the bathroom after cleaning up each day, after brushing hair and applying lipstick and looking in the mirror, was to dab a little Arpege perfume on her neck. "For when Grandpa kisses me." "In case I get visitors." She was a classy woman, and I want to be classy like her.
And she fought. When her ulcer covered most of her lower leg and another started on the oppposite leg, she got creative. She found a remedy that worked, and always we rubbed her feet to get the blood flowing. Finally the day came when the wounds started to get smaller instead of larger, and in a month there were only scars where there had been decaying flesh. She always said that she would beat her arthritis, and when the pain got so bad that she needed help with the most routine activities, she kept her sense of humor. "Barack Obama, Barack Obama, Barack Obama," she huffed as I lowered her into the bathtub one day. "Somehow, focusing on his name makes the pain more bearable."
And one day as we dried her off after a bath, she confided in me about the growing lump on her body. "Just never tell Grandpa." She had vowed to refuse all medical care, and she knew that my grandpa would do whatever he could to see her well. And the lump stopped growing for awhile, and we all thought that she had beat whatever kind of tumor she had.
I graduated college (she sent a check that she could just barely sign, but hadn't left the house in years and didn't plan to start leaving with a graduation two hours away), and moved to Bolivia to teach for a year. And the lump grew. And her pain increased. The arthritis with the added cancer was more than even this strong woman could bear. We knew that time was limited. When my dad came to Bolivia for ten days, she stopped eating. Three weeks later, surrounded by her children and husband, she left this world.
And today, seven months later, I let the cold creamy coffee flavor sit on my tongue and remember her. Not just a passing remembrance, a contemplating remembering. I remember her life and her person and her spirit. And I miss her.
I am sitting in my bed and take the lid off of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. Grandma used her spoon to scrape off the inside of the lid first, so that's what I do too. Her dentures made it too hard for her to chew the toffee, so I suck on Heath Bar just like she did. And my mind goes back to my years taking care of Grandma.
I don't have a lot of meaningful memories of Grandma Kay from my young years. She would sit and smoke her cigarettes and watch golf when we visited her, and I was much more interested in the toys in her basement than who she was. I remember her generosity-- buying my cousins and I matching dresses and talking parrots for Christmas and birthday gifts. But I never really got to know my grandma until the end of my senior year of high school when I began to help her. Her arthritis and an ulcer on her leg gave her limited mobility, so I would visit her once a week or so and do laundry, chop vegetables, or vacuum. Never one to accept a handout, my grandma always slipped a bill into my hand as I left and refused to listen to my protestations. When I started college I would drive over once a month to clean the bathrooms and stock the fridge. During these times she would teach me about "crumbs" on the floor. "If you just pick up any crumb or fuzz you see on the floor, you can wait much longer to vacuum." And beets. "Try boiling them for twenty minutes and see if the skin doesn't just fall right off." And bookkeeping. "If you so much as blow on a piece of paper, label and date it."
With three children, eleven grandchildren, and four great grandchildren, she never missed a birthday and remembered to call for friends' anniversaries. No matter how much pain her ulcer or arthritis gave her, she always managed to sound pleasant on the phone. Always she had good news about her family to share with a visitor, and always she took care of my grandpa.
She smoked cigarettes all day long and almost never missed an episode of All My Children. Some of her habits I never want to imitate. However, as her pain worsened and I began to help her bathe and take care of herself, I learned to appreciate her love of beauty. She was not ready for visitors without red lipstick on, and the last thing we did before leaving the bathroom after cleaning up each day, after brushing hair and applying lipstick and looking in the mirror, was to dab a little Arpege perfume on her neck. "For when Grandpa kisses me." "In case I get visitors." She was a classy woman, and I want to be classy like her.
And she fought. When her ulcer covered most of her lower leg and another started on the oppposite leg, she got creative. She found a remedy that worked, and always we rubbed her feet to get the blood flowing. Finally the day came when the wounds started to get smaller instead of larger, and in a month there were only scars where there had been decaying flesh. She always said that she would beat her arthritis, and when the pain got so bad that she needed help with the most routine activities, she kept her sense of humor. "Barack Obama, Barack Obama, Barack Obama," she huffed as I lowered her into the bathtub one day. "Somehow, focusing on his name makes the pain more bearable."
And one day as we dried her off after a bath, she confided in me about the growing lump on her body. "Just never tell Grandpa." She had vowed to refuse all medical care, and she knew that my grandpa would do whatever he could to see her well. And the lump stopped growing for awhile, and we all thought that she had beat whatever kind of tumor she had.
I graduated college (she sent a check that she could just barely sign, but hadn't left the house in years and didn't plan to start leaving with a graduation two hours away), and moved to Bolivia to teach for a year. And the lump grew. And her pain increased. The arthritis with the added cancer was more than even this strong woman could bear. We knew that time was limited. When my dad came to Bolivia for ten days, she stopped eating. Three weeks later, surrounded by her children and husband, she left this world.
And today, seven months later, I let the cold creamy coffee flavor sit on my tongue and remember her. Not just a passing remembrance, a contemplating remembering. I remember her life and her person and her spirit. And I miss her.
1/04/2012
Trip
There are so many things I've thought about writing in the last week or two, but all of my thoughts failed to turn themselves into words on this blog. I thought about things like:
- How much I've learned about immigrant culture in the last two months
- My increased understanding about racial discrimination
- My very single state
- How wonderful my family is
- The way I've struggled to find community here
- A very strong pull toward consumerism I am feeling
But I didn't write about any of those things. Instead, I took a little blog break. And now... now I am leaving for ten days on a VACATION with my FAMILY. We are going on a CRUISE. And I am going to take pictures and show you them when I get back. I am also committing to journal a lot while I'm there. It might just be about my trip, but I might journal future blog posts and then share them with you when I get home.
One way or another, I will be writing about the above topics when I get home. So pretty much, I'm saying to my few faithful readers, wait for me. I'm coming back. I just need to figure out how to blog in this country.
- How much I've learned about immigrant culture in the last two months
- My increased understanding about racial discrimination
- My very single state
- How wonderful my family is
- The way I've struggled to find community here
- A very strong pull toward consumerism I am feeling
But I didn't write about any of those things. Instead, I took a little blog break. And now... now I am leaving for ten days on a VACATION with my FAMILY. We are going on a CRUISE. And I am going to take pictures and show you them when I get back. I am also committing to journal a lot while I'm there. It might just be about my trip, but I might journal future blog posts and then share them with you when I get home.
One way or another, I will be writing about the above topics when I get home. So pretty much, I'm saying to my few faithful readers, wait for me. I'm coming back. I just need to figure out how to blog in this country.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)