The Faith and Helplessness Required in Accepting God's Provision

I am in the middle of writing thank you notes to supporters to send home with my sister, who leaves in just two days for the US.  With each new card I take out to write on, I am amazed again at the way that God has provided for me while I've been here. 


Although a few of my supporters are consistent monthly, I didn't really have time to ask for people to commit to giving to me while I was here.  Most of my gifts are one-time donations, and I continue to be blown away at the way that God knows exactly what my needs are and provides for them through His body.  In my first six months here, I have never been without the funds to pay for basic necessities-- food, rent, utilities, even internet and transportation.


That said, I am learning a lot because, sometimes, God leaves me waiting to see how my needs will be provided for.  I am in a place of faith that I've never been in before.  I feel helpless at times, not knowing where next month's money will come from.  I'm learning to trust that the same God who has brought me here sustains me.  I'm even learning to love the way that He does it.  


One of my favorite examples:  In my first month of being here I wasn't yet able to ask for any support because my application to work with my mission was still being processed.  I was already teaching at the school and living at my current house, but my first month's rent was almost due and, although I had sufficient funds in my account, I hadn't even brought my bank card with me from the States to withdraw anything (only planning on being here two weeks).  In the crazy rush of the first three weeks of teaching, I didn't even have time to think about needing money.  But God was thinking.


I opened my desk drawer at the end of my third week of teaching and found an envelope with my name on it.  Opening it up, I found the exact amount needed to cover rent, utilities, and transportation for the month.  There was no note enclosed, no signature, no name except mine. I still have no idea where the money came from, but that envelope was the beginning of my trusting in God's provision.


I'm thankful to those people from my church back home and my friends who are supporting me here, and I am thankful to God for the lessons He is teaching me.  I am unworthy of His grace, but unbelievably thankful to share in it.